Thanks A Lot

On a typical Sunday morning in yoga class, I set up my mat and props, and then lie down for a few minutes to get myself all nice and grounded and present. But this time, before doing so, I whipped out my phone and took a few photos. The woman on the mat next to me quipped, “Are you taking pictures to prove that you came today?” I chuckled and told her I was taking a picture of my yoga setup because it makes me happy. I explained that today was day one of the 100 Days of Happiness Challenge that I participate in every year. She had never heard of it, so I went on to tell her that it was based on a book of the same name, and that the general idea was to take a picture of something that makes you happy every day for 100 days in a row, then post it on social media. She immediately began making fun of the whole concept; she was cracking jokes about how she wouldn’t make it a week, and even went as far as saying she couldn’t wait to tell her friends about it after class so they could get a good laugh as well. I wasn’t mad; the cynicism was very Gen X of her. But the irony of her joking about it while sitting on her yoga mat was not lost on me. I get why she might see it as being a little Pollyanna-which is definitely not my MO-but that’s exactly why I do it every freaking year. It opens your eyes to the good things, both big and small, universal or niche, that bring you some joy. And frankly, if you can’t find one thing a day to be happy about, then maybe you should start snapping some pics of your yoga mat too. 

I am a moody bitch. Always have been, always will be. Is it the anxiety, my crazy childhood, or maybe my astrological sign? Who knows. But I’ve been dealing with PMS for 38 years, so cut me some slack. Why do you think I'm so into self-care? Practicing yoga, meditation, breath work, writing…it’s very deliberate. I use these things to help me function in a world that couldn’t care less about your problems. I want to be happy. I want to be positive. I want some inner peace, dammit. Of all the things that take the edge off, metaphysically speaking, there is one tiny practice that takes two seconds and can change your whole mindset. Gratitude. That’s right, I said it. Being truly aware of the good things in your life can be as relaxing as a day at the spa. Taking off your cranky pants and slipping on your rose colored glasses can sometimes be a difficult transition, but that’s okay. Do it anyway. 

Every morning, before I go downstairs, I stumble into my office and do a little yoga to start the day. This routine was conceived during covid lockdown, and was a mental health game-changer. It’s a habit I’ve actually stuck with since 2020, and I’m really proud of that. About a year ago, I added a little journaling to the mix, and after some experimenting, I decided that the best way to start my day with a halfway decent attitude was to think of a few things that I was grateful for and write them down. I’m not good at real journaling, but I can handle a simple list. My goal is to jot down five good things before I hit my yoga mat. Most of the time it’s pretty easy, but some days…it can be a challenge. We’re not always soaking in a warm bubble bath of appreciation. Sometimes you're hopping around in an ice-cold shower of suckiness. It happens. But if you can find one good thing, congratulations! You’ve shifted your focus in the right direction. 

It’s easy to be thankful when you’re in a great mood, or having the #bestdayever. But, it might be even more important to dig deep for the positive when you’re in the middle of a shit storm. There have been weeks where almost every day I’ve written in my journal that I was grateful for the nice weather because a) I actually am, but also b) I am drawing a blank. But, as a wise woman once said, you don’t always have to come up with a long list of things you are thankful for. Sometimes all you need to say is “thank you.” Just in general. Every day isn’t going to be full of sunshine and rainbows, so I make a conscious effort to say thank you when little good things happen. Yes, I say it out loud even if I’m alone. I found an awesome parking space. Thank you. A really good song came on. Thank you. A friend sent me a text to say hi when I was feeling lonely. Thank you! It’s like when someone lets you pull in front of them in traffic, and you give them a little wave to acknowledge their kindness. Thank you is a little wave to God, the universe, angels, happy coincidences. Whatever you believe in gets a nod. There are so many opportunities to take a minute and focus on what’s going well in your day. Don’t miss it. 

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I recently signed up for a seven day Community Gratitude Challenge through one of my apps called Insight Timer. On day two, a woman named Alex Elle led us through a guided meditation entitled Noticing Simple Pleasures, in which she encouraged the listener to think of three simple things that brought them happiness every day. I love this idea. She reminded us that “...joy often hides in plain sight, and when we stop long enough to see it, we make space for gratitude in our hearts.” The more you train your brain to be on the lookout for things that make you happy and acknowledge those things, the more blessed you will feel overall. See how that works? We just have to slow down and notice. There are so many small moments of pleasure in our ordinary lives that we overlook because we are waiting around for the next extraordinary thing to occur. In that vein, this year we hosted Thanksgiving dinner, and we encouraged our guests to think about something(s) that they were grateful for, then write it down on little leaf-shaped note cards that my daughter made, and throw them into a bin. The anonymity took the pressure off of going around the table one by one as we had in years past. Before we dug into our feast, I read these notes aloud. Giving our busy family permission to slow down and reflect upon what we were thankful for yielded some wonderful messages and sparked a lovely conversation. 

This is a crazy time we’re living in. We are bombarded all day long with a weird combination of bad news and fake, manufactured joy on social media that has the potential to make us feel bad about our lives. I don’t know about you guys, but I, for one, can get really overwhelmed. Sometimes it feels like we’re all walking towards a cliff and we are going to fall over the edge at any minute. So it’s especially important to do what you can to bring yourself, your family, friends, and the world around you some damn joy. We need all the positivity we can get. This is why I write about things that are deeply personal and then post them for all to see. Trust me, it’s not because I like attention. I send my neurosis out into the void because I hope that hearing my story will help at least one person feel less alone, or at the very least get a laugh. So, to those of you who actually read my funky little blog: THANK YOU.